Question. As a leader, what do you think your most important skill is? It’s not your strategy, decision-making, or even your technical skills— it’s your words. Your words hold power. The wrong phrase can stop productivity in its tracks, fracture trust, and send your top talent running for the door. A leader who is great at everything, but cannot choose their words correctly, will struggle to keep their team motivated and moving forward. After all, while people may forget what you said, they’ll never forget how you made them feel.
As a leader aiming to keep their team driven, committed, and aligned with their vision, there are certain phrases you should avoid at all costs. Here are three things you should never say to an employee if you want to create a positive, productive, and loyal workforce.
- “You Have to Earn My Trust”
Starting off the list strong, this is a phrase that immediately destroys relationships by putting employees on the defensive. “You have to earn my trust” implies that you do not already trust them; that you do not see them as a trusted individual. When you say this, you’re implying that your employees start at a deficit, having to prove their worth from day one. Instead of inspiring confidence, it creates a culture of suspicion and pressure, where employees feel like they’re walking on eggshells.
Trust should be the foundation of every working relationship, not something dangled as a reward. Also, remember that trust is mutual. If you imply that you do not trust your employees, they’ll not trust you, either. A better approach? Offer trust first—let your team show you what they’re capable of in an environment that encourages accountability and growth. Hire people you trust and support that trust by letting them know from day one that you trust them and are there to support their success.
- “You Need to Prove Your Loyalty”
Much like the one before, this statement immediately seeds doubt in the relationship you have with your employees. Loyalty is something that cannot be demanded. It is something that develops gradually, built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and shared purpose. When you ask an employee to “prove” their loyalty, you suggest that their commitment is under doubt. Such a demand can quickly breed resentment and disengagement.
If an employee feels that their loyalty is constantly under question, they are more likely to become disconnected and start seeking opportunities elsewhere. Instead, focus on creating a work environment that naturally inspires loyalty; rather than asking them to show their loyalty, work on showing yours. Like trust, loyalty is actually earned by the leader by first being loyal to their team.
Invest in your people, truly care about them, help them grow, and create a culture of mutual accountability and support. In return, you’ll cultivate a team that is fiercely loyal, not because they’re forced to be, but because they want to be.
- “This Isn’t Personal, It’s Business”
Last on the list is my least favorite “corporate” line, and the phrase that I unfortunately hear the most often. While it may seem like a rational approach to separate emotions from decisions, the reality is business is always personal. Read about any great leader you’ve ever admired, and you will realize that business was always something deeply personal to them. Employees invest not only their time but also their energy, passion, identity, and care into their work. There is a huge emotional investment involved, and by casually dismissing it as “just business,” you leave employees feeling extremely underappreciated and disconnected, like cogs in a machine.
Also, every conversation between two human beings is personal. It doesn’t matter if you are talking about someone’s children or production rates on the manufacturing floor. How you address people, respect people, and see people are all perceived through a very personal lens. And, if you make a business decision to lay off someone, don’t think for a second that that situation isn’t very personal to them! It is!!
Think about it this way. Is your organization just “business” to you? I’m sure that the answer is no. That’s the same way your employees feel about it, too. Business is personal, and embrace that. Do not ignore the emotional component, as it can lead to disengagement, lower morale, and a breakdown of trust. All great businesses run on emotions, so rather than brushing off their concerns with this phrase, harness your empathy and transparency as a guiding light in these moments. Take the time to explain the reasoning behind tough decisions, listen to their perspectives, and show that you understand the personal stakes involved.
Besides, don’t you want your team to take this business personally? Don’t you want them to be deeply concerned about the company’s success? Don’t you want them focused on helping their peers and you achieve your goals? Personally committed people make the best team members.
At the heart of every successful organization is a team that feels trusted, valued, and empowered. As the leader, ensuring the well-being of that heart is in your hands. Your words carry tremendous weight in shaping this environment. The phrases you choose can either uplift your team or erode the foundation of trust and loyalty you’ve worked hard to build. While avoiding these three statements at all costs will lay the foundations for this journey, the most important lesson to always remember is that leadership isn’t just about strategy or decision-making— it’s about connecting with your people on a deeper human level.
